


Songbird Returns

by The_Gardners_Cigarette



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: ABDL, Abdl community, Age Play, Baby Louis, Baby Niall, Cribs, Cuddles, Daddy Harry, Daddy Josh, Daddy Liam, Diapers, Heroin, Infantilism, Louis was a druggie, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Past Drug Addiction, Poor Louis, Tears, Therapy, bottles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2018-12-07 04:49:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11616219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Gardners_Cigarette/pseuds/The_Gardners_Cigarette
Summary: Louis left his "Little" life behind and hasn't looked back since. 4 years later, things have changed and he finds himself returning to the place he once called home; but it comes at a price.He broke the trust of his Caregivers, his neighbors and his friends. Louis has a lot of apologies to make before things can go back to normal.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is a terrible idea: starting a new fic RIGHT as I am rewriting an old fic that took me over a year to produce 9 chapters. But I've ran out of Fucks to give, so I hope you all like this.

 

The train pulled into the station too quickly for Louis' liking. The five hour train ride (two of which he slept) flew by for him. He had spent the last half hour starring out his window either dwelling or regretting his past actions. 

A tiny part of him admitted he belonged here. 

And he never should have left. 

 

 <> <> <>

 

"Ticket, please." A kind teller asked at the entrance. The usually bustling station had quieted down as the sun began to set. Closing hours were upon and Louis was relieved he arrived in the nick of time to catch a cab. Louis said nothing, lugging his bags and fishing the bright orange slip of paper from his coat pocket. Once he was free to go, the man walked outside to the taxis, waving one down. 

 

The driver was a scruffy man with a grey mustache and a black cap, but he had kind eyes and offered Louis a kind smile. "Where to, chap?" 

 

"Uh, Blackwell." Louis spoke, shutting the door, "please." 

 

The driver's eyebrows raised. "Ooh, haven't drove there in a few weeks. Are you a resident there?" 

 

The caramel hair colored man hummed, not answering the man's question. 

 

Blackwell was _ **one of those**  _communities. The tall gated, private, secluded areas where wealthy men and women lived. However, that's not what made it significant. Blackwell was a town that was in partnership with the government and law enforcement in helping the homeless, the sick and the criminals off the street. But there was a trick to this paradise, it was an Age-Play community. 

 

Some described the place as a way to "restart" a new life, or to (sadly) have a real childhood. Whatever the reason for entering Blackwell, most residents loved it and never left. But Louis wasn't like "most" people. It had come as a shock to most when it was found out he had left. He was sure he had hurt a lot of people, as he never told anyone he was leaving, or had plans to leave. 

 

_Poor Niall._

 

Louis felt his heart crush. Niall was his best friend at Blackwell. The two had playdates, sleepovers and sat next to each other as much as possible. Sure, Louis had other friends there, but he and Niall clicked instantly. Louis assumed it was because Niall was so easy to get along with. Truthfully, he liked Niall because he could relate to him so much. Both had drug problems and had been abandoned by their fathers and unloved by their mothers. Though, Niall grew up in Ireland and was a whole three years younger than him, Louis saw him as a brother. 

 

Still, he knew there was one person who probably took it the hardest. Not that Louis could blame him. 

 

 _"Harry. . ."_ Louis muttered to himself, gazing at the sunset outside the taxi window beyond the tall pine trees. 

 

 

"Hm? Did you ask for something?" The taxi man asked, politely.  

 

"E, no. Sorry. Just thinking." He wanted to smack himself for letting his day dreams get the better of him. 

 

Louis looked down at his arm. Old scars faded among the new. The boy rolled down his sleeve once he felt his breathing become heavy. He focused his attention on the radio to some Pop song by some artist he could care less about. 

 

He thought he had tamed himself. He was sure he was under control; his mother was right, once an addict, _always an addict._

 

 "Here we are, kid." The taxi driver smiled, pulling into a parking lot of a building, just across the street from Blackwell. Louis thanked him, paying his fee before collecting his bags and standing outside the all too familiar establishment. It was the enrollment office and honestly, Louis had no idea if he would be accepted back in. He had never heard of anyone leaving Blackwell and coming back. 

 

First time for everything. He assumed. 

 

Picking up what little luggage he had, he opened the front doors. 

 

This time, he planned to stay. 

 

 <> <> <>

 

 

"Well, this certainly is a surprise." Sitting at a dark, sleek wood desk was Head of Operations and Attendance, Simon Cowell. He was in charge of resident housing and admissions. Just the guy Louis wanted to see. Actually, Louis always thought of Simon to be an egotistical prick, it was the way he carried himself and the sassy tone of voice didn't help either. Then again, this man was Louis' only option to getting inside Blackwell.

 

"When you said you were leaving for good, I never thought that meant only four years."

 

Louis smirked, "Neither did I."

 

Simon sat up in his leather chair, offering a kind smile. "You want to return to Blackwell?" Louis nodded. "May I ask why? An abrupt departure followed by four years of silence and now you're back. Something doesn't add up." 

 

Shame filled the small boy as he began rolling up his sleeves, showing off the new scars caused by dirty needles. Next, he handed Simon a doctor's referral for immediate admission. "Drugs again?" 

 

"I did fine for a year anda half out, but I started up again. I couldn't hold on to a job, lost my apartment and me sisters don't _want anything-"_ That's when he lost it. While he and his mother had their own issues that accumulated over the past twenty years, it was his sister's disowning him that hurt the most. All five of them, even his little brother, wanted nothing to do with him. Louis could see why. He was a piece of shit. He lied to them, sold drungs out of all their family homes, once he stole money out of Lottie's UNI fund for drugs and, recently, pawned Ernst's game systems for rent (which he was late in paying anyway). 

 

That wasn't even the worst of it. 

 

His family had given up on him when he was a teenager, but it was his mother who had kicked him out of "her house" when he was eighteen and every year he came crawling back, only to do something worse to their family bond and get curbed again. This time, they would not be fools and take him back. 

 

That was the reason Louis first arrived at Blackwell. It was to fight off his drug addiction. 

 

_Look what it did for me. I had to ruin all that. Just like I ruin everything._

 

Simon left his seat to pat Louis on the back, startling him from his day dreaming, encouraging him to stand up. 

 

"It's fine that you've returned, Louis. I was only curious and a bit surprised because Blackwell usually never has it's residents leave. . . more or less return after leaving. Now, I have to abide by your doctor's orders and have you to stay at the hospital for forty-eight hours for a check up before you move into Blackwell officially. My question is. . . do you want to return to your former caretaker?" 

 

_Harry. . . ._

 

When Louis admitted himself the first time to Blackwell, he was given to the care of a loving man. The man who put up with him during every fight, temper tantrum, sick day, and sassy attitude Louis threw at him; all with nothing but gentle reassurance and tender hugs at the end of every bad spell. Harry, the man who kissed at his heroin "owies" and did his best to cover Louis' tattoos without over heating him. The same man who more than willingly stood by his crib and assured him he'd be alright after a nightmare. Harry, the man who knew his favorite cookie, who knew not to let him eat too much sugar cereal,  who knew his favorite football players and all his babyish secrets.

 

He knew, without a shadow of doubt, he had hurt that man by leaving more than any tantrum. 

 

Louis could not bring himself to think about the an without feeling so guilty he felt sick.

 

"There's. . . there's a lot I have to do and say to people before I actually move in. I don't know what the rules are but-" 

 

"There are no rules on application or leaving, Louis." Simon reminded him. "Blackwell is a community that takes in the sick, homeless and anyone who wants to start over with their lives. You are more than welcomed back. Please, don't think of yourself to be any less than what you were when you left." 

 

The smaller man sniffed, his eyes becoming irritated and his nose was clogged. "I. . . I have to talk to a few people. Is it okay that I do that before I give you my answer?" Louis felt so timid and meek. He hadn't felt this small in ages. It both alarmed and soothed him. Simon nodded. While the man wished Louis would have at least told someone he was leaving, it technically wasn't against the law for him to leave at will. Communities like Blackwell would not discriminate, or disgrace anyone who left. While it was rare, there were Littles who did leave. Louis just happened to be one that came back. Simon didn't question Louis' motives. Louis had caused quite a stir with his Leaving-and-not-telling-anyone act. If it wasn't drugs killing him, then guilt was eating him alive. 

 

"You may. But I'll need an answer by tomorrow morning. And, I want you back here at nine at the latest. Whoever you choose to look after you during your stay here, will need need to be informed about the accommodations with your therapy and your prescriptions." 

 

Louis' bottom lip trembled. He knew he needed this. He couldn't live on his own without spirling out of control. 

 

"O. . . kay. Thanks." He went to pick up his bags. 

 

"Leave your things here. I'll put them in your room at the hospital. Now, I will send word to our therapist, Dr. Aoki, you have arrived and the conditions about your situation. We will also need to inform him about the prescriptions your Doctor has perscriped."

 

"Simon, I need a favor and promkse me you'll try to follow through with it." Simon waited. "Please, don't tell anyone I'm here. I . . . I don't want the attention." 

 

"I won't say anything, but if you're recgonized, then the fault is not on my hands, Louis." Louis nodded. As Louis went to leave, Simon said one more thing, "oh, and one more thing: Welcome Home, Louis." 

 

 

 

Now came the hard part. 

 

Apologizing. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note, this fic will be more light hearted age play (like my other fic My Little Lou) the reason for the M rating is for language and past drug usage, etc.

 

 

Dusk was upon Louis. He hadn't much time before Simon would send for someone to pick him up and bring him to the Blackwell Hospital. On his walk to Niall and Josh's, he thought long and hard about what he wanted to say, but every time he went to practice his speech, it either sounded lame, cliche or not enough to sound like a real apology. Louis didn't want to do this, but he couldn't hide from Niall forever, especially since he was going to be living back here.  

 

Louis' world stopped spinning momentarily when he approached the familiar light blue, two story house with a white picket fence surrounding a large front yard with a tree (as well with an attached tire swing), and a small flower garden in the front. Memories of countless hours running around the front yard, swinging from the tire swing and getting in trouble for snooping in the garden came flooding back to Louis. Those were some of his best memories and he could only hope he could do it again with Niall. 

 

That is, if Niall accepted his apology. 

 

He gulped as he opened the front gate and took the agonizing steps to the bright red front door.

 

_I can do this._

 

Taking a deep breath, he pressed the doorbell. His heart shattered and he almost turned to run away when he heard Niall's voice _"Daddy! Pizza's here!"_

 

In two seconds flat, Josh was opening the door with a wad of cash in his hands seeing Louis he looked about as stunned as a petrified cat. "L-Louis?" He asked. The smaller boy nodded, giving a short wave. 

 

"Hey, Josh." His voice was meek and he had lost his confidence. He wasn't sure Josh wanted him around. Josh never liked anything that made Niall upset and cry. Louis remembered during one of their playdates, an unknown dog had jumped the fence into their yard and bit Niall. Josh didn't seem to care too much about animal cruelty at the time when he kicked the dog in the face and it whimpered away. Surly, his leaving Blackwell had upset Niall. Maybe Josh didn't want him around Niall. 

 

To his surprise, the man stayed calm. "It's uh. . . surprising to see you back." It was clear he was at a loss for words. He wasn't angry like Louis assumed he'd be, which was a great sign on his part. 

 

Louis nodded. "Yeah, I'm back now and I don't think I'll be leaving anytime soon." This time he meant it. He didn't want to leave, even if it felt awkward and hopeless being here. Louis had a feeling that if he left, he'd run straight to the drugs again. 

 

Josh went to say something else but Niall interrupted from the living room. _"Daddy! I'm hungry!"_  

 

"May I see him?" Louis dared to ask, his voice barely a whisper. "I. . . I want to apologize. To both of you. I'm sure I scared you too, Josh." 

 

The taller man gave it some thought before a small smile appeared on his face and he nodded. "You may. But I must ask you before you enter my house: are you in headspace?" 

 

It was always courteous to ask the Littles (or their Caregivers if they were with them) if they were in headspace. This way, Josh would either give Louis the proper response as an adult, or to give him one from a Caregiver's point of view. Louis shook his head, telling Josh he, in fact, was not. Truthfully, Louis had no idea when he'd slip back into headspace. Louis had actually left his headspace a week before leaving and acted out "his part". That was something else he needed to confess to Josh. Oh, God. He had so much to tell him. 

 

Josh led Louis into the cosy home. Louis noticed not much had changed. Smale carpet, same dark brown wall color. There were different (possibly newer) photos on the walls and toys scattered on the floor. But other than that, it looks about the same as Louis last saw it. He could only hope Niall was the same too. Speaking of which. When Josh led Louis into the living room, Niall was sitting on the couch clutching his stuffed puppy Patches. On his feet were matched matched sock with a pair of grey sweatpants and a plain blue t-shirt on. 

 

Niall's eyes widened when he saw Louis. 

 

Louis felt a lump in his throat and his eyes threatened to spill tears. Seeing Niall after so long made him want to cry with joy. He was thrilled to see the other man. "Niall!" He beamed. 

 

Niall said nothing. At first, Louis assumed it was from shock.  Slowly, but surely a frown came to the blonde's face and he stomped out of the room towards the kitchen, clearly upset from seeing Louis for the first time in years. Josh went to run after him, claiming how rude he was being towards their guest but Louis stopped him. As much as he wished Niall would have stayed and at least talked to him, he couldn't blame Niall for being angry. If Niall never wanted to see him, then he'd live with it. 

 

He was stupid for believing everything would return to normal once he got back. 

 

"No. . no, please don't punish him, Josh." Louis insisted, his voice heavy and it was obvious he was going to cry at any moment. "I'm happy I saw him, really." 

 

The Caregiver gave Louis a look that was full of pity and sadness. He had no idea what Louis went through for the past four years, but he could tell it took a toll on Louis. The smaller man looked starved and sleep deprived and Josh had to restrict himself from wrapping a blanket around the poor boy and giving him a bottle of milk. Josh cared about Louis, truly. He had almost loved Louis like he did his own Little, Nialler. 

 

"Are you staying with Harry?" Josh asked. 

 

Louis didn't respond. "I. . . I just got back. This evening, actually." 

 

Josh got the hint. He probably hadn't even seen Harry yet. Which means Louis hadn't told anyone he was returning. When Josh questioned that, Louis begged him not to tell anyone. "I need to do this on my own. Please, Mr. Deh---er...Josh, it was so hard just coming to see Niall. I can't face anyone else today." 

 

Especially not Harry. 

 

Honestly, Louis didn't know if he'd ever be able to face the man. 

 

Josh frowned. "Where are you staying then? Not out on the street, I hope." He wouldn't take that for an answer. He'd pull out the spare bassinet for Louis if he had to. 

 

"Simon wants me to stay at the Hospital. It's for the best. I'm sure I'll have to take new medication and I'm also going to have to go threw therapy." Louis answered. Josh nodded, giving Louis a pat on his shoulder. He tried to ignore the obvious fresh needle marks on Louis' arms and--God he wanted to pull that boy in for a huge hug and never let go. Louis was _one of those_ Littles that came from a bad life made by bad decisions. Normally Littles with the same background as Louis or Niall tended to be hard on themselves and less prone to regression. Josh had babysat for Littles addicted to Heroin, Cocaine and even Meth; many had behavior problems and Louis was no exception. 

 

Josh wished Louis could see how much progress he had made while staying at Blackwell the first time around and he could do it again if he believed in himself. 

 

"I understand," Josh breathed. Quickly, he added, "Are you hungry? We ordered a pizza and I'd like for you to stay and have a quick bite to eat." 

 

Louis shook his head. He loved pizza, but at the moment he felt so emotional he wasn't sure he could eat without being sick. "No. I need to be leaving anyway, Simon gave me an hour before I had to be back."

 

"Just know you are welcomed here, Louis. I'll have a chat with Niall and try to convince him to speak with you. I won't make any promises though." 

 

Louis gave a small chuckle, spotting Niall glaring at him from the kitchen, trying to hide behind the door. "Maybe...Thanks, Josh. Means a lot to me." 

 

As Louis left, Josh called out to him, "Louis, do you plan to ever let Harry even know you're back?" 

 

_And have him reject me like Niall?_

 

 "I don't know..." 

 

* * *

 

When Louis returned, Simon was almost half tempted to send someone to look for him. Pleased Louis came back, he escorted Louis to his hospital room where he was laid on a firm mattress and hooked to an IV. For as many times as he's ended up in a hospital, Louis would never get used to the scenery or the medication. Simon informed him that the doctor would see him first thing in the morning and if he needed anything to call one of the nurses. 

 

"Also, what's the news on your Caregiver? Have you decided to go back to Mr. Styles?" Simon asked. 

 

"Didn't speak to him." Louis truthfully responded. 

 

"Should I inform him of your presence?" 

 

 _No!_ Louis wanted to scream. Niall's blunt rejection had hurt him enough he wanted to cry, he couldn't imagine what Harry would do or say. No doubt Harry must have given up on Louis too. And why not? Everyone else did. No. Louis couldn't bare to face Harry's rejection. He wanted to keep the last memory he had of Harry with him; when Harry had gently rocked him to sleep, whispering how much he loved him to the moon and back before laying him in his crib and turning on the nightlight, yet still leaving the door open a crack. 

 

The lump in Louis' throat grew as he didn't answer Simon. Simon didn't push further. 

 

"Very well, Louis. I understand. Get some rest tonight. We will talk more in the morning." 

 

Louis turned to lay on his side as Simon left the room. It was too dark for Louis' liking, even with the window open providing light from the full moon and the stars. Louis tried hard not to think about Harry, or his content life he had with the Caregiver. He tried not to think about his beloved stuffed animals and toys he looked forward to playing with, or his comfortable crib with soft blankets and clean sheets every night; or the bathtub where his scented bubble soaps and his toy boat and little rubber fish awaited while he was being cleaned. 

 

Trinkles of tears fell from Louis' red rimmed eyes and a sob escaped his mouth. 

 

He was so miserable. Why did he leave and ruin everything?  He _always_ ruined everything. 

 

The small man prayed his new assigned Caregiver would be just as nice, loving and understanding as Harry. And this time, he wouldn't let go to what he had going good for him. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> purposely short again.
> 
> We see Harry in the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enter Harry and two new neighbors.

 

 

Early the next morning, before the sun had peeked over the trees, Louis was woken by a nurse to have his blood drawn and to be given salve and bandages on his fresher wounds. As by standards, Louis was also diapered, though professionally, the nappies were too stiff for his liking and he longed for the soft extra-plush ones Harry once wrapped him in. He tried to rid his mind of thinking about Harry today. It would only make him upset and lose his appetite for the goopy porridge the nurse watched and made sure he ate at least half. It was another hour of staring at the TV before Simon returned with a man Louis did not recognize. He assumed it would be his therapist by the way he wore a long, white lab coat. The man next to Simon looked friendly with kind eyes and a polite smile, most interesting about him was his long black hair and clip board in his hand. Louis tried to sit up as best as he could with an IV still in his arm.  

 

"Goodmorning, Louis. How are you feeling?" Simon ave a friendly nod. 

 

"Okay. . " Louis softly spoke. 

 

Simon turned to the other man, "Louis, this is Mr. Aoki. He will be your therapist and we are ordering a once a week session with him for an hour on Saturdays."

 

Mr. Aoki gave Louis a gentle wave hello that had the smaller boy suddenly feeling shy. Truth be told, Louis had never been to therapy. He had grown up thinking that's where sad or crazy people laid on a fancy couch and spoke about what was wrong with him. Mr. Aoki gave off good vibes, so he didn't worry about the man that much. It might have been a good idea to send him to one when he was here the first time, but _-No. Stop thinking about what happened then. Ignore it and it won't hurt as much._

 

"It's nice to finally meet you, Louis." Mr. Aoki spoke. "I won't be speaking to you today, but I wanted to meet you before our first session so you wouldn't feel intimidated or scared by me. Trust me, it's happened before." 

 

Louis thought Mr. Aoki was a pretty nice guy and he started to like him. There was a faint beeping noise as Mr. Aoki glanced down at his phone before putting it back into his lab coat pocket. 

 

"Sorry to leave so suddenly. I have other patients to see now, but I'll see you Saturday, Louis." Mr. Aoki gave a wave goodbye. Louis waved back.  _Saturday. That's six days away._ Louis was taken out of his trance by Mr. Cowell asking him the question he had been dreading. 

 

"Have you decided who you want to care for you, Louis?" Simon asked, sitting on a chair next to the hospital bed. "I cannot allow you to be here any longer without a Caretaker. It would go against the regulations of Blackwell. I do have the information of your former Caregiver, Mr. Harry Styles, in my office. I can contact him if you want me to-" 

 

Louis gulped. Face Harry and be rejected? No. He can't deal with that. He began to whimper, alerting Simon. 

 

"N-No. I can't see him." Louis sniffed. 

 

"Do you not want Harry to care for you?" Simon asked.

 

 _You don't know how wrong you are._ "It's. . . it's nothing like that. . .I just." Louis sobbed. He couldn't conjure the words to project how he was feeling or what he wanted. Typical traits for a Little. Simon feared Louis was slipping right into headspace and, since he was not a Caretaker, called for the nurse to immediately amp up the IV. Inside the IVs were special medicine preventing a Little into going into headspace. Doctors and Nurses at Blackwell needed that medicine to keep a Little either calm or be taken out of headspace in order to tell them what was wrong. Many Littles couldn't tell a doctor if their ankle was broken or if they were in pain if they were constantly crying. So the medicine was the only, natural and safe procedure (besides a Caretaker gently coaxing their Little) to leave headspace. 

 

For Louis, it did the trick. 

 

"Are you alright?" Simon asked. 

 

Louis nodded. His head did feel more clearer; although that longing for Harry, while not intense, stayed. Simon waited a moment before moving the chair closer toward the bed. Folding his hands together, he took in a deep breath before speaking. "Louis, is there a reason why you don't want to see Harry? Did Harry ever hurt you?" 

 

The blue eyed man could slap Simon right then and there. 

 

"No, never!" He shouted. 

 

"Calm down, please. Then can you explain why you don't want to see him? It's bizarre that you went to Josh Devine's house before see Harry." Louis had a hunch Josh called Simon and asked for details as to why Louis was back. That was Josh's nature though. But Simon did have a point. It didn't look good on Harry that he hadn't gone to his house to announce he was back and Louis hoped this wouldn't harm Harry's record or reputation as a loving and kind Caretaker. 

 

It was as if he had read Louis' mind as Simon continued, "We've found a study that shows that out of 10% of Littles that leave, only 2% come back. And normally thost 2% want to return to their former Caretaker. But I want to be clear that if you do not want to be under the care of Mr. Styles, it will not affect him in anyway shape or form. I promise. Harry actually moved up in the ranks while you were gone." 

 

That pulled a few strings in Louis' heart. Had he been holding Harry back from something? Was he actually right in leaving? 

 

". . . What?" He asked silently. 

 

"After you left, Harry opened his home to being a Legal Sitter's. And he also helps out at the School for the Middle Littles during summer. I think it was to take his mind off things." Simon explained. "Though, I don't doubt his love for you. He asked everyone, quite frantically, where you had gone and even started a search party. Of course, it didn't last long after I told him you had signed you legal rights to leave and had left early that morning." 

 

Now Louis was embarrassed. Harry thought he had either ran away (which he sorta did) or was kidnapped? He could only imagine how little sleep the man got after he left, or how hurt he must have felt after Simon told him the news. The lump in Louis' throat soon grew bigger as he laid down, staring out the tall window giving him views of the park nearby. But even THAT held bittersweet memories of him and Harry. 

 

He simply couldn't forget the man. Maybe that was a sign to face his fears. 

 

"Call him." Louis' voice was barely audible. "You can. . . tell him I'm here. . .we need to talk anyway." 

 

Simon nodded. "I'll be back as soon as I can." 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

The birds outside followed by the loud weed wacker his neighbor's owned was what woke up the curly haired man still curled up in bed at nine-thirty in the morning. The weed wacker wasn't stopping anytime soon and sleep had left with it's dream bags, so Harry decided to get out of bed. Wincing as he cracked his back, Harry sat at the edge of his bed a moment before finally stumbling to the bathroom. Glancing at himself in the mirror, he could tell he wasn't wide awake with the dark circles under his dull green eyes. 

 

He hadn't had a good night's rest in years. Five to be exact. 

 

_Get over it. He's not coming back._

 

Harry's house adorned toys, blankets, stuffies and an abundance of diapers. But those were for the Littles he babysat. They weren't for **_him_**. No, ** _his_ ** things were in storage in the basement. All of **_his_** clothes, **_his_** cute little sneakers, **_his_** beloved crib and nursery set. And **_his_** room his blank and empty and Harry hasn't stepped foot inside in four years; Because, _Goddamn_ he's not ready to believe it yet. He can't. 

 

Harry's house holds laughter, tears and sometimes cuddles for Littles. But not for **_his_** Little. Not anymore. 

 

_It's been five years. He's. Not. Coming. Back._

 

"Shut up." He told himself. 

 

Splashing his face with water had woken him up faster, but then there was the task of getting dressed. It was Sunday and Harry had no Littles to watch today, so he decided to be lazy and lounge around in his pale blue pajamas and matching white robe with blue piping. He slid on his slippers before heading outside to fetch his newspaper. It was a beautiful blue sky, sunshine day. Caretakers and their Littles seemed to be outside either doing yard work or playing in the warm morning sun. Thanking the paper boy at the lump of paper landed right at his feet, Harry stood by his recycling, tossing out junk ads and other things he didn't care about before hearing his name called. 

 

"Hi Mr. Harry!" 

 

Looking up, Harry spotted a Little boy by the name of Zayn standing next to their shared white picket fence on the property line. Harry gave a sweet smile back. Zayn had been a handful for his Caretaker, Liam. Zayn had been admitted for behavior issues as the boy had gotten in trouble with the law numerous times. It wasn't easy and had taken Liam months to sculpt Zayn into the semi-shy, sweet and playful boy Harry loved to baby sit for. Though, even Zayn had been a brat towards Harry. One time, Zayn kept demanding for sweets and candy and had a raging fit when Harry had put him in time out for swearing. 

 

Nowadays, Zayn never swore or talked back. He was, in Liam's terms, his Perfect Angel. 

 

_He and Louis would have been best friends._

 

"Hello Mr. Zayn. What'ca up to?" Harry strolled over, still checking the paper. 

 

"Playing with my trucks." Zayn spoke, nonchalantly. Like it was normal for a twenty-three year old man to play in the garden with toy trucks and cars. "Wha' are you readin? The paper?" 

 

Harry chucked. "Yeah. I'm looking for something." 

 

"Are you looking for a Little boy too?" Zayn abruptly spoke. Harry felt his chest tighten and he forced a smile. He wasn't going to be angry or upset with Zayn. The boy was in headspace (and that in itself gave him little to no time to comprehend or understand most things) plus Zayn had no idea what happened years ago. All Zayn knew was Harry was one of the few Caretakers he knew who didn't have a Little of his own. Sometimes, he felt sad for Mr. Harry. Because Mr. Harry was the nicest person ever and any Little would love to have him as a Daddy. Of course, Zayn loved his Daddy the most, but Mr. Harry, he felt, deserved a Little too. 

 

"Zayn Payne, are you bothering Mr. Harry?" Liam called from the other side of the yard. He had been watering the plants and had his back turned. 

 

"No, Daddy! Jus' sayin' good mornin!" Zayn called back. 

 

Harry chuckled at Zayn's cuteness. The boy was so innocent when he spoke and having him dressed in bright red dungarees and a striped t-shirt made the scene only more adorable. 

 

"Mornin' Liam. Nice weather, eh?" Harry waved. Liam ceased the flow of water from the garden hose before walking over to the gate. He nodded, "Yeah. Oddly pleasant for summer. I got a feeling something's about to happen though, I get the feeling it's going to be bad." Liam bit his lip in worry. Harry wanted to laugh. Liam was such a worry wart in his opinion. Still, he cut the man some slack, he was a new parent after all. 

 

"Something bad? Maybe it'll rain literal cats and dogs." Harry joked, looking up at the clear blue sky. 

 

However, Zayn took Harry's joke seriously. "A kitty, Daddy! Can we get one, please? Niall told me he might get one soon." The boy was practically on his knees begging. 

 

Liam frowned. "And what have I told you about being greedy, Zayn? You have plenty enough already you had to have. You don't need an animal on top of it." Zayn's bottom lip quivered and he said nothing but chose to ignore the two and return to his trucks. Harry chuckled, petting Zayn on the head before making small chat with Liam. Harry liked Liam. He was a great neighbor and a terrific father towards Zayn. No matter how many times Zayn had given up on himself, Liam never allowed Zayn to sink further into his anger or depression. Liam was a tad overprotective of Zayn, making sure the boy took his medicine (God, he was so persistent on Zayn taking his meds at eight. Not 7:55, not 8:05. But 8:00) and always had his boy in clean clothes. Speaking of which, Liam began to scold Zayn for finding a mut pit to play in after he just had a morning bath. 

 

"I'm gonna' head inside now. See ya' later Li. Bye-bye, Zayn." Harry waved, tightening his robe. His friendly neighbors said their goodbyes as Harry entered his house just in time to reach out and grab a cup of coffee only for the phone to ring. 

 

"Hello?" He asked, taking a sip of his hot beverage only to drop the mug, the contents of his coffee and the mug shattered at his bunny slippers at the news he was given. 

 

"W-what? Are you serious? He's-he's what? Gimme' five minutes. I'll be right there!" Harry threw his phone in his pocket and went to race towards the garage before cursing as he raced up the stairs, remembering he wasn't dressed. He hadn't seen what he had thrown on, nor did he check to see if it was dirty or not. He didn't care. Ramming his keys, he started up the engine and tried not to speed down the road. 

 

Liam was right. Something was happening today. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Louis had been waiting anxiously for Simon's return. The seconds that passed had been agony for the small man laying in the bed. He tried to occupy himself by watching TV, but nothing good was on. He couldn't fall back to sleep and the porridge he had eaten was suddenly not agreeing with his stomach. Then again, that could have been the stress. Still, Louis knew deep down he had to do this. He had to look Harry in the eye and tell him how sorry he was for leaving. How awful he feels now for thinking he was big enough to face the real world, pay back his debts to his friends and family and contribute to society. He wanted to apologize for escaping his crib at four in the morning, tip-toein down the stairs and gently shutting the door without even a note.

 

He had to be a man for once and face his fears. 

 

_"Be a man" you say as you're wearing a nappy._

 

Louis groaned. Where the hell was Simon? It didn't take thirty minutes to make a damn phone call! He was growing impatient and this didn't help his anxiety. He had to go to the bathroom and he didn't feel comfortable doing it just yet and _oh fuck_ he wanted a nice bottle of warm milk. Maybe the kind he adored so much that was laced with chocolate. The Hospital provided bottles (along with stuffies and dummies) but Louis was too shy to ask for one. The IV medicine was keeping him for regressing and asking for what he wanted, which wasn't a bad thing, he knew he had to stay bigger and talk to Simon. but he had needs too, dammit! 

 

Soon, the door opened and in walked Simon. "Louis, I have some news. . ." 

 

Louis gulped. 

 

"I tried calling three times and no one answered." 

 

That was it. Nine words had completely shattered Louis' world. He hung his head low and gripped the scratchy hospital bed sheets. From there on, he cried. 

 

_Your family hates you_

_Your friends hate you_

_Niall hates you_

_Now Harry hates you_. 

 

Simon was quick to keep talking. "Now-now, wait a minute. He could be out getting groceries or maybe he's just not home. There's no need to cry-" However, those words fell on deaf ears. Louis had made up his mind. Three times Simon had called. Each probably within a ten minute span. Harry hadn't picked up the phone. Louis knew Harry was a morning person, so he couldn't have slept through it. He just knows this because he knew Harry. 

 

Or he used to know Harry. Now, all he knows is he lost him. 

 

He lost Harry. All of this, was his fault. And he had to accept that. 

 

Simon stopped trying to console Louis when the littler man spoke up. "Just. . . when you get me a Caretaker. . . make sure they're nice, please." Louis begged, sobbing hysterically. His eyes were red and the gops of tears wouldn't stop tracing his cheek. 

 

 

 

 

"Please, let them be nice. As nice as Harry was to me. That's all I ask for. . . " 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha, tricked you. Leave a comment if you liked.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Niall, currently the brat from Hell....

 

 

 

"What do you mean he locked himself inside?" Harry asked, racing towards Josh on the front steps before they entered the house and sprinted up the staircase. Josh sighed. Niall had been giving him a hard time ever since Louis' visit last night. Josh knew this was hard to handle for his Little, but Niall had crossed the line by locking himself in the spare bedroom and taking the key with him. Josh never locked any of the doors inside his home, minus the door leading to the basement or the garage to keep Niall from snooping around, or falling down the stairs. 

 

He didn't know what to do and his first instinct was to call Harry for help. If there was anyone who knew how to handle a bratty Little, it was Harry. 

 

"I means what it means, Harry. He had a rough morning waking up and snapped at me because-- I guess I woke him up too early. Anyway, I was trying to feed him some breakfast and he went off because I served his eggs wrong and he threw the plate on the floor. So I put him in time out." Josh explained. He failed to mention last night's happenings and he hated it. Looking at Harry, Josh knew he could inform the man that his boy was back, but Louis had asked him not to say anything. It killed Josh inside to no end.

 

Harry nodded, following along to Josh's explanation. "Then, I turned my back for a second and the next thing I know, he's up here slamming the door shut. I'm afraid he'll force himself out of headspace." 

 

Defiant Littles would sometimes force themselves out of headspace, a dangerous method to do if one was in headspace as long as Niall was. The result could cause potential brain damage if severe enough. However, the odds of Niall slipping out were slim to none; Josh was just a worried Daddy who wanted his baby in his arms.  

 

Harry shook his head, "I dunno, Josh. It takes a lot for that to happen."

 

They reached the said locked door and knocked a few times, only to be met with curses and _"Go Away, Daddy!"_ It was clear Niall was not going to open the door anytime soon. Harry began taking out a bobby pin from his hair and trying to pick lock the door. 

 

Niall must have heard Harry coming, because as soon as the lock on the door gave a soft 'clink' he screamed, "No! Leave me alone! Don't want anyone in here!" The blonde boy sat on the guest bed hugging his stuffed puppy. He was angry, frustrated and wanted to be alone with his mean thoughts. He didn't want to see anyone, not even his Daddy. 

 

Harry held up his hand, whispering, "We'll let him have alone time, but make an agreement. Watch." Josh trusted Harry and the curly haired man began talking, "Hi, Nini, it's Uncle Hazza." 

 

"Go 'way Uncle Hazza!" Niall shouted. 

 

Josh was fuming. He was beyond embarrassed by how Niall was acting towards Harry. Sure, Harry was like an Uncle to Niall, but he was still a guest. He softly apologized to his friend but Harry brushed him off. Niall was upset and it was natural for Littles to say silly things when they were confused or upset. Harry has dealt with this behavior before and he knew the sheer way of getting Niall to submit. 

 

Harry chuckled, "Don't worry, buddy. I won't come in. But you can't have the door locked, okay? Daddy and I will sit out here and you can be in there and cool down, sound okay?" 

 

Niall didn't respond, so Harry took it as a Yes. Josh and Harry sat on the top stairs for a few minutes in silence. The Caretaker was trying to calm down as well. It had frightened him when he found out Niall had locked himself in the room. Normally his Little was claustrophobic, so it was strange Niall would do such a thing. Niall must have been really angry about Louis if he decided to lock himself away like that. 

 

"Hanging in there?" Harry asked. 

 

Josh nodded, "Yeah, thanks for being here, Harry. Must of caught you at a bad time, though." That last part was chuckled as Josh looked down at Harry's bunny slippers still on his feet. Harry just brushed him off. He didn't care what his attire was, Josh needed his help and he had been long time best friends with the Caretaker for years. Josh's smile faded as he continued talking. " I. . . . He hasn't acted like that in years. I panicked and I shouldn't have, I'm sorry to drag you into this-"

 

The curly haired man chuckled. "Not at all, Josh. It happens even to the best of us. Now, it's been a while, go see if he's calmed down a bit, if not we'll wait some more." The Daddy nodded, leaving his spot on the top of the stairs to softly knock on the bedroom door. 

 

"Niall, sweets, do you need a change? Daddy will give you more alone time after you've been changed from your wet nappy. I promise." Hesitantly, Josh entered the room where poor Niall was in tears. He cried for a number of reasons: he was angry, frustrated, confused wet and to top it all off he didn't have breakfast. He was just a miserable little boy. Josh could clearly see that as he cooed, swooping his little boy into his arms and carrying him to the changing table in Niall's nursery. Harry followed to be there for Josh if he needed support. He lingered in the doorway, watching the other man professionally and swiftly re-diaper the upset Little. 

 

Niall sobbed while Josh removed the wet nappy and cleaned him. Normally Niall was relieved to be out of a wet nappy, but he was still miserable about other things, he just couldn't put it into words. Josh was thankful Niall hadn't left headspace. 

 

"Do you want to talk about what happened this morning, Nini?" Josh spoke. 

 

The Little shrugged then nodded. Josh and Harry moved to the rocking chair where Josh sat down with Niall on his lap while Harry took the automan. "What's got you so upset, little one? You put up quite the fight." 

 

Josh knew what was wrong and he didn't have the balls to ask Harry to leave so he could talk to Niall about what happened last night and try to calm his Little down. 

 

Niall looked at the floor. He always had a bad time looking at others in the eyes. "M'mad. And sad and hungry." He muttered. 

 

Harry chuckled while Josh spoke. "We will eat as soon as we get those two other feelings out of the way, okay? And love, I want you to know that it's okay to feel upset or angry and want to cry. But you are not allowed to runaway from Daddy and especially lock yourself in a bedroom. You had me so scared I had to call Uncle Hazza to help me get you out." 

 

The Little blushed as he stuck his head into the crook of Josh's neck and shoulder. 

 

"S'rry Dah...da. Needed 'lone time." 

 

Josh nodded. "Okay, we will discuss a plan for that later. But I need you to tell Daddy why you ran off from the corner." That had been a new one for Josh. Normally Niall stood still or fell to the floor and cried loudly out of shame or sadness he was put in the corner to begin with. Even in the beginning of their relationship Niall never left the corner. 

 

Niall sniffed, lifting his head from Josh's body to speak more clearly. "Was mad because of last night." Niall truthfully spoke. Josh tensed up, realizing Niall was about to spill the beans on Louis' arrival. He gave a worried look to Harry who only returned a confused one. Josh had, technically, made a promise not to inform Harry his whereabouts but Niall would blow it all over. Still, Josh knew deep down, Harry would find out eventually. That doesn't mean it should come from the mouth of a Little. 

 

"What happened last night, Niall? You can tell your Uncle Hazza anything. You know that." Harry stated. He didn't like how Josh reacted to Niall's response. Why Josh looked so afraid puzzled Harry and he wanted to know what happened. 

 

Niall, still in headspace, sat up a bit straighter and crossed his arms. Niall knew very well he could talk to Harry about anything. Daddy had said that Harry was his Uncle and Uncle Hazza loved him very much. 

 

_Much more than stupid Louis. All he did was runaway! He doesn't wanna be my friend no more!_

 

"Louis came back." Was all the blonde Little uttered. 

 

Harry felt as if he had the wind knocked out of him by those three words. His eyes widened and his hands shook. At first, he ran a shaking hand through his curly hair and asked Niall to repeat himself before standing up. The final straw for Harry was when he gave a glance at the guilty look on Josh's face. Niall wasn't a liar, and Josh couldn't life to save his life.   _His Louis. His Baby Boy_. Louis was in Blackwell and his best friend hadn't bothered to tell him. Harry hadn't the chance to choose if he should be angry or break down and cry. He was a whirlwind of emotions. Angry, Sad,relieved and. . .dare he say happy. He was so elated his little boy was back! His Lou-bear could be back in his arms in a snap. All he had to do was find out where he was. 

 

"Where is he?" Harry carefully asked, his eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill. 

 

"Harry. .. " Josh started. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know how to tell you. He made me promise I not tell-"

 

 _"Where is he?!"_ Harry demanded, this time he was louder. Louis was in Blackwell and if Josh knew and wasn't about to tell him, there's no telling what Harry would do. He'd kick every rock, rip every shrub, knock on every door until he found his baby. Josh gulped, glancing at the floor. He couldn't look at the man in the eyes when he spoke next. 

 

"We. . .we don't know. He left without telling me-" At that, Harry stood up and began racing out of the room, ignoring Josh's pleas to come back, as well as his apologies. 

 

He had almost tripped while racing to his car. Revving up his engine, Harry sped down the street. If he couldn't find Louis, he'd die of a broken heart. He'd never give up finding Louis. Gripping the steering wheel, he bypassed cars and trucks that honked at him towards the entrance of Blackwell. If he couldn't' find Louis in town, he had an idea of where he might find the boy.

 

He had to talk to Simon. If anyone would know where Louis was. It would be him. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 Back at the hospital, in his office, Simon sat at his desk. He held a file with Louis' full name, date of birth, blood tests, allergy tests and mental health exams. He had called upon a Caretaker for what was addressed as an "emergency adoption". It didn't happen often, but when it did the paperwork was a bitch and Simon always got a headache afterwards. The emergency adoption consisted of a Caretaker (who either did or didn't have a Little, it doesn't matter) being called into his office and strapped with a Little to care for. 

 

 "Thank you for coming on such a short notice." Simon thanked the Caretaker. "You know I wouldn't call a Caretaker away from home if I didn't have an emergency on my hands. We have a gentleman, Louis Tomlinson, who desperately needs a Caretaker immediately and his need to regress is counter acting with the medicine we have him on. Anymore given to him will result in an overdose." 

 

The brunette haired Caretaker gasped, "Dear lord, he's that bad?" 

 

Currently, Louis was still in his room while a Nurse tried to feed him lunch. Simon hadn't stuck around to see if he ate anything, but knowing Louis' emotional state, he guessed the boy wouldn't be eating willingly for a while. 

 

Simon shrugged, "Depends on what you classify as "bad". He's. . . troubled at the moment. Not behavior wise, but emotionally. I tried to get in contact with his previous Caretaker and he wasn't answering his phone. I had informed this to the patient and he almost dropped into headspace while on medication." Simon faced the man, handing him the cream colored folder for the Caretaker to browse through. 

 

"If you take him now, I must warn you he'll be fussy and probably sedated. We're thinking about possibly putting him to sleep so you won't have much trouble on your hands as you take him home." 

 

"Wait. . . Tomlinson? Is that the boy who I heard left Blackwell?" The Caretaker asked, raising a bushy eyebrow. Simon nodded. Louis had gained quite a bit of fame (respectively) after he left. It seems even the Littles who didn't know Louis were talking about him leaving. Then there were the stories of Poor Harry Styles, the Caretaker who's Little ran out on him. Quickly after, there had been rude chatter on Harry's parenting methods and his ability to be trusted as a Caretaker, to which Simon shot down immediately. He knew the man didn't deserve to live with that weighing on his shoulders.

 

"The very one."

 

"Why did he leave?" 

 

"If you don't think you can handle him-"

 

"No, no. I am skeptical about how my own Little boy at home will react when I suddenly arrive with Louis. . . . in fact. . . .I feel I have to. I want to, please." He was near begging. "I might have to do some shopping later in the week, though. But I'll try to make Louis as comfortable as possible. I've been meaning to do something with the spare bedroom I have. Now I have a wonderful purpose for it." 

 

Simon smiled, he knew he could trust Liam. "Thank you. I'll send word to his nurse to sedate him and swaddle him for you. Also, in his folder is information about his therapy sessions and medication he must take." Liam nodded. He'd follow the rules thoroughly. As for his baby at home, he'd just have to give him an explanation as to why he suddenly has a baby brother. But he was sure Zayn would love Louis. Looking at the boy's profile picture, Liam knew he already did. Liam could hardly contain his excitement. He felt as giddy the day he prepared to take Zayn home. The planning for a Little was costly and time consuming, but for the moment his Zayn could play with Louis while he set up Zayn's old bassinet for Louis to use until he had a proper crib for the boy. Zayn couldn't' help but smirk at the idea of this Louis fellow wearing Zayn's clothes. 

 

_It's like they're brothers already._

 

He would make sure Louis loved it at his home. More importantly, he'd make sure Louis would know he was loved AT home. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom. That's all you get for now. I know, I'm evil.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its what you've all been waiting for

 

 

Liam gasped, halting the breaks on his car as someone in a black car sped down the street, cutting him off and almost causing an accident when Liam tried to pull out onto the street. The crazed driver almost gave Liam a heart attack. 

 

The Caretaker grumbled to himself,  "Crazy driver. Are you okay, sweets?" Turning, Liam was thankful and surprised the jostle hadn't woken up Louis. The tiny boy was swaddled and still in the car seat, gently sucking on a teal rubber teat dummy and sleeping soundly. Simon had said the nurse would put a strong sedative in him and Louis probably wouldn't make up for another hour or so. Just enough time for Liam to speak to Zayn as to what would happen from now on. 

 

When Liam pulled into his driveway, he could see Zayn playing with the sitter, Nick, in the backyard. Gently, Liam unbuckled the car seat from vehicle and draped the blanket that was over Louis' lap to over the seat to protect Louis' eyes from the sun. 

 

Zayn went to chase after the football he and Nick were passing to one another when he spotted his Daddy unlocking the side door. He smiled, racing to the garden gate. "Hi Daddy!" He waved, instantly spotting his Daddy hauling his carrier inside, he asked "Where'd ya go? What's tha?" 

 

Nick, spotting the baby carrier, instantly knew what was going on. However, Liam didn't disclose he was retrieving a brand new Little. It might have been a surprise for Zayn. Figuring Liam needed some time, he called Zayn back to continue playing with him. 

 

Inside, Liam sat the baby carrier on the living room floor before walking into the backyard. 

 

"Thanks for watching Zayn, Nick. I owe you big time." Liam thanked. Nick smiled back, "s'no problem, mate. I gotta' feeling you'll be calling me more often." The two Caregivers chuckled but the joke flew over Zayn's head and he frowned. 

 

"What?" The confused Little asked. Nick took this as his time to leave and waved goodbye to Zayn and Liam, walking back to his home across the street through the garden gate. 

 

"Zaynie, come inside with Daddy. There's someone I want you to meet." Liam beamed, taking his baby's hand. Zayn was only more confused. Between his Daddy suddenly leaving, coming home and carrying something (that looked really heavy), Nick and Daddy joking and now there was someone he had to see, this was a very strange day for Zayn indeed. Zayn was led through the kitchen to the living room where he spotted that carrier again. He heard faint snoring and grew a tad upset. Someone was under the blanket in his carrier. 

 

Liam kneeled on the floor to take down the blanket and Zayn was revealed a boy. He was small, sleeping and snoring through his nose as he sucked on the dummy. Liam waited for Zayn to react and when he didn't he spoke. "I'm sorry I had to leave so suddenly this morning, sweetie. Mr. Cowell called me and he needed me to take care of Louis." 

 

"Who's Louis?" Zayn had a pretty good idea Louis was the baby in his carrier and that's who Liam pointed to. 

 

Liam turned towards Zayn, still kneeling and holding the boy's hands in his own. He knew he had to talk to his boy delicately. Zayn had behavior issues that had mellowed out, but the boy was very reluctant to change. One time Liam cooked dinner too early and it clashed with Zayn's TV show and the boy had a meltdown. Which was why Liam was choosing his words carefully. "This is Louis, Zaynie. When the paperwork is all finished, I will have officially adopted Louis just like I did with you. Louis will be your little brother. I know it's sudden, bt isn't that exciting? You'll have a playmate all the time and there will be a bit more love in this home."  

 

However, none of this went well with Zayn who crossed his arms, glaring at Louis fast asleep in HIS carrier. "Well he's stupid. Take him back." 

 

Liam frowned, "Zayn. That's beyond rude what you just said. We don't call other people names. You've just earned yourself a time out." Zayn pouted as his Daddy picked him up and set him on the "naughty stool" in the corner of the living room away from the toys and TV. Zayn angrly grumbled and kicked at the wall while Liam attended to Louis. The taller man didn't want Louis sleeping in the carrier all day, but he figured he'd allow Louis to snooze while he assembled Zayn's old bassinet in the spare room. Carrying the new Little upstairs (he didn't work out for nothing) he sat Louis down in the empty room and rocked the carrier a bit. 

 

"Sweet dreams, Louis." 

 

 

* * *

 

 Simon was about to take a bit into his lunch when hs office door burst open, startling him. Standing at the door, seething with anger, was none other than Harry Styles. Simon kept himself calm as Harry stomped forward to his desk and slammed his hands on the table and hunched over, whispering, "Where is Louis? I know you know, Cowell." 

 

The raven haired man sighed. Between him and Louis he wasn't going to get a break today. Knowing he wouldn't have lunch when he anticipated, Simon sat back in his chair and returned a frown. 

 

"I think you should sit down, Harry."

 

"Fuck your chair. Where the hell is my baby at?!" The curly haired man demanded. Just then, a nurse entered the room, apologizing to Mr. Cowell and explained they tried everything to stop him from entring but Simon brushed her and the security away. Harry narrowed his eyes, waiting for Simon's answer. He didn't like how long the older man took to answer, "Well, tell me! I don't have a damn day!" 

 

"He's been adopted by someone else, Harry. I'm sorry. Tomorrow, when the paperwork is all classified there will be nothing you can do to get him back." Simon spoke, bluntly. He wasn't about to sugar coat it. Especially not since Harry stormed into his office, demanding information (and all in a rather rude manner on top of it all). The color for Harry's face drained, but determination still raged in his emerald green eyes as he continued speaking. 

 

"And how is that possible?! I was his Caretaker before, why aren't I again?" Harry didn't know exactly how the system worked regarding Littles leaving and then returning, but he knew damn well he was Louis' Caretaker. No one knew Louis better than him and everyone in Blackwell could testify for him on that. "You know I arranged fucking search parties for him! I call the police I did everthin in my power to find him and now that he's back you have the audacity to place him with someone else?!" 

 

"I tried calling you earlier Harry. You didn't answer," Simon explained. "I had no choice but to call for an emergency caretaker." 

 

"I'm sorry, I was helping Josh I was out of the house-now, tell me who adopted him and I'll be taking him home." Even in bunny slippers Harry still managed to look dominant and sophisticated while demanding what he wanted. It would have been a funny sight under different circumstances. Simon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was annoyed by Harry at the moment, but he did have a heart. And right now, he had no idea how to tell Harry how Louis felt about him.  Harry crossed his arms, tapping his foot. He didn't like to be kept waiting, specifically when it concerned Louis. 

 

Folding his hands together, Simon sat straight and rested his elbows on his desk. 

 

"I mean it, you might want to sit down for this one." 

 

_Might as well tell him everything._

 

Harry did as he was told, keeping the frown on his face as Simon spoke. "When Louis left, and I guess not long after he did, he was back on the drugs, Harry." Simon spoke. Harry gulped. Now he knew his baby needed him. "When he came back, he told me he had to go apologize to someone. From his behavior returning, I'm assuming it didn't work out too well." 

 

The Caretaker's mind drifted back to Niall and Josh. Now he knew why Niall was so upset. And if Niall was upset, then that guaranteed Louis was upset. They were best friends after all. 

 

"He wanted to return to you. He caved in after I had coaxed him. But, when we tried calling you and you never answered, I'm guessing he took it as you rejecting him-"

 

"No!" Harry cried. That was the last thing he ever wanted Louis to feel about him. Louis could hate him, despise him even curse his name in death, but Harry never wanted Louis to feel he couldn't rely on him. "I'd never reject him!"   _Not Louis. Not my baby._ Louis was Harry's baby. Harry was there for him during nightmares, sick days and the days his poor baby had to deal with withdrawal symptoms of the nasty drugs he infected himself with. Harry would be damned if Louis ever felt that way  ever again.

 

 "Simon, please. For the love of God, tell me where he is! I'll apologize to him and ask whoever has him for custody back. I deserve to, being his first Caretaker and all." 

 

Simon bit his cheek. "That's. . .that's not how it works, Harry."

 

"Please! I'll talk to them then!" Harry begged. "Everyone knows I belong with Louis- _even Louis himself!_ Please, once my baby sees me, he'll want me. He will, Simon. I know it!" 

 

 

There was only one way to find out. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Zayn's attitude hadn't gone away. In fact, Liam swore Zayn had broken  his record for time outs. Zayn fought him on, what appeared to be, everything. After he was taken out of time out the first time, he told Liam to his face he didn't want a brother and stomped away. Liam figured he'd let Zayn ride this one out. Once Louis was awake and alert, Zayn might come around. Zayn was always shy and could come off a little rude before he met other Littles. It was a defence mechanism Liam had come to learn about Zayn. Still, this was a new low, even for Zayn's record. 

 

"No! That's mine!" Zayn screamed, yanking a red shirt off Liam's bed. Liam had done a load of laundry that consisted of Zayn's old clothes he either didn't wear anymore or outgrew. 

 

"Zee," Liam spoke in a warning tone, "That shirt is way to small for you." 

 

"So? It's still mine!" 

 

The Caretaker groaned. "I know you're upset and all of this is scary and confusing to you, Zayn. But I need you to understand that we have another addition to this family and he'll need clothes. We can't let Louis run around in a nappy all day." 

 

Zayn wasn't listening, he began taking all the clothes Liam had folded into a neat and tidy pile and went to walk away with them, but Liam caught him by the arm and took away the material before placing the boy, yet again, in the corner. At times like these, he wished Harry would pick up his damn phone. Harry would know what to do. Harry wrestled and consoled with cranky Littles all the time.  The man was a bone-a-fied "Little Whisperer" or something cheesey. By the time Liam had finished re-folding the clothes for Louis, Zayn had made up his mind that his Daddy didn't love him anymore and that's why he left to adopt Louis.

 

Louis was his rival.

 

All afternoon Liam spent his time either chasing after trouble-seeking Zayn or fixing the room for Louis. He'd have to have the boy's share a changing table for the night or until he could run out to the store and buy one. For now, Louis' new room had a bassinet, a box of diapers and Zayn's old clothes in the closet. Liam also made mental note to buy the baby a fewstuffies to snuggle with. He found that doing that with Zayn helped the bigger Little settle in faster. Liam was stacking diaper boxes when he heard a whimper come from the bassinet. Jerking his head he smiled with glee noticing Louis was waking up.

 

"Hi there, Little one." Liam spoke, gently and calm as possible. Truth be told, he was bursting with excitement and happiness when Louis opened his big blue eyes and tried looking around. Liam could already see the frightened glance Louis gave him as he began sucking the dummy faster. Liam hoped he hadn't appeared to be intimidating. His large muscles did make him look a bit rough, but he tied speaking as soft as possible to soothe Louis.

 

 "I'll bet you're thirsty and hungry. Let's get you a warm baa-baa, why don't we?"  

 

Louis was gently picked up and cradled to his chest. The Caretaker noticed Louis shiver, regardless that he was wearing a fleece. Looking around, he cursed when he couldn't find the blanket he had wrapped Louis around before. Knowing Zayn must have taken it, Liam left and he entered Zayn's room and retrieved a blanket from the boy's crib to swaddle Louis in. The boy appeared to be a tad more content as he suckled on the Dummy. 

 

"Louis, there's someone I want you to meet. Would you like to meet your big brother?" Liam asked. He had hoped that once Zayn got to know Louis, his attitude and hateful feelings would evaporate. Louis said nothing so Liam walked down the stairs into the living room. He spotted Zayn sulking on the couch, but once the boy saw the blanket wrapped around Louis, he shot up in anger. Right away he noticed a cream colored fuzzy blanket that his Daddy gave **him** when he was first adopted. Not this Louis, him! 

 

"That's mine!" He cried. 

 

Before Liam could get the chance to explain, Zayn was pulling on the blanket. The motions startled Louis and he didn't have eyes in the back of his head so he had no idea what was going on and he started crying. Liam was furious with his Little's behavior, he tightened his grip on Louis. 

 

"Zayn Javadd Payne, stop this behavior at one!" Liam's added scolding made Louis cry even harder. His mind was floating from the drugs and he didn't like the shouting or the pulling sensation behind him. "It's mine, it's mine, _it's my blanket!"_ Instantly, Liam's grip on Louis became stronger the more Zayn pulled on the blanket. Louis was sobbing and his head was fuzzy and it all happened right as the front door slammed opened. Liam's head shot up in shock and Zayn finally had hold of his blanket and when he pulled back he landed on his bum. 

 

Standing in the doorway, was Harry Styles. His green eyes locked onto the Little in Liam's arms and his heart raced. Turning his head, crying and cold. Louis' heart burst seeing the man he had left four years ago. The medicine doped into his system didn't have him thinking correctly and he began reaching out his trembling, tiny hand towards the curly haired man.

 

Finally, he cried:

 

 

 

_"Daddy!"_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand I'm a bitch.
> 
>  
> 
> Damn, Zayn is like one of those cringey brats you see acting up in public.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Reunited, and it feels so good~  
> ~Reunited 'cause we understood ~

 

 

The second Louis screamed that name, the name Harry worked for so long to be called; and reached out for him, Harry raced inside and swooped the Little out of his neighbor's arms and held Louis in a bone crushing hug. Tears were shed and Harry's shoulders shook as he cradled Louis in his arms for the first time in over four years. The feeling was mutual, as even Louis couldn't fight back crying 'Daddy', it would seem that mantra wouldn't leave his mouth. Liam and Zayn watched in shock. Any reasonable Caretaker would be outraged a Little was snagged from their arms, especially one as sophisticated as Liam Payne. Though, even Liam was in awe as Louis cried his heart out into Harry's broad shoulder and clung to him for dear life while the Caretaker himself let his own emotions get the best of him. 

 

"Oh my baby!" Harry sobbed, running his fingers through the boy's hair, "I thought I had lost you! I thought you were hurt, you had no idea what I was thinking. Oh my precious baby boy." 

 

"D-Daddy." Louis hiccuped. So many things were racing through Louis' mind. He had missed Harry, but hadn't Harry rejected him? And what about what happened a moment ago when he was jostled around? What was going on? Poor Louis was confused, relieved and upset all at once and the only thing he could do about it was cry, so that's what he did. As much as he wanted to stand and hold Louis forever, Harry got a grip on himself and forced Louis off his shoulder to look at his in his teary blue eyes. "Baby, you listen to me.....I'm so sorry I didn't come for you. I did as soon as I heard you were back. Now I'm here. Daddy's here now. I won't let you go." 

 

Zayn raced behind his Daddy to hide. He didn't know why Mr. Styles had suddenly barged in here and took Louis away from his Daddy, or why he was crying. Clutching his cream colored blanket closer, Zayn tugged on Liam's shirt to grab his attention. Liam ignored the Little and cleared his throat. Harry turned, giving Liam a hard look. Judging by the concerned and perplexed look on Liam's face, Harry had a hunch the man would either demand he return Louis and get out of his home, or threaten to call security on Harry's ass. But that wouldn't happen. You'd have to rip Louis from his cold, dead hands to get him back.

 

"Liam I don't care what you did to obtain him, but I'm not giving him up!" Harry held Louis tighter, bounching the boy when he began crying again. 

 

Liam held his hands up in defense. "No. . . That's not what I was implying at all, Hazza. I just wanted to to say that Simon called me after he couldn't get a hold of you to take Louis in as an emergency. I just wanted to ask if you were Louis' previous Caretaker. Simon gave me his file when I took him, but it didn't list who his previous caregiver was." 

 

Harry nodded. "I. . . Im so sorry my baby." Fresh tears fell from Harry once more. Liam told everyone to sit in the living rom where Harry plopped on the skfa with Louis still in his arms. "Josh had called me saying Niall had locked himself in a room and when I asked him why he did it, he said he was mad because Louis came last night." 

 

Liam's eyebrows rose. Both in shock at Niall's stunt  (as he was known to behave well and never throw a tantum) and the fact that Louis had left and returned. The poor Caretaker was taken back by all of the sudden out of character moments, between Zayn's tantrums, parts lf Louis' story, Harry barging into his home and now Niall acting up. Liam tried to take it all in piece by piece. If not, he'd be lost. He cleared his throat. 

 

"I. . . I had heard _of_ Louis, but I didn't think YOU were his Caretaker. I mean, I knew you didn't have a Little, but-" Liam just assumed Harry was on a waiting list, or the man simply didn't want a Little of his own; like Nick Grimshaw or Jesy Nelson, they were babysitters for when Caretakers were busy or needed some time off. Raising a Little was emotionally and mentally taxing. During the year and a half he had known Harry, Liam thought he'd be the perfect Caretaker to any lucky Little. 

 

The caretaker sniffed, rubbing his eyes while supporting Louis. "It's okay, Liam. You've only lived here less than two years. There's no way you could have known it was me." Harry forgave his friend. Looking down, both men noticed Louis had cried himself to sleep. The poor dear's eyes were still red as he softly snored. Harry softly smiled, brushing Louis' thin bangs away from his forehead. Liam glanced down at Zayn. The boy still had hold of his blanket. While Liam was more than upset and outraged at Zayn's earlier behavior, it was apparent that his Little couldn't handle someone else living under the same roof. Liam knew he'd have to work that one out with his boy, but for now there were bigger fish to fry. 

 

"Harry, about Louis-"

 

"Liam, please don't take him from me." Harry begged, tears threatening to spill from his eyes once more. "I waited four years-"

 

"No, no, no Hazza, that's not what I meant. What I mean to say is, you can take him back." Liam softened up. Zayn turned his head to stare at his Daddy in shock. At the notion that Louis wouldn't be staying with them had him smirking and Harry about to cry. Liam wasn't cruel. He'd never hold a Little from their Caretaker; it was obvious Harry and Louis had a special bond, much like he had with Zayn. Liam couldn't imagine the pain he would endure if someone took his Z-Baby from him. 

 

Harry was overjoyed. For fear of waking Louis, he whispered his gratitude to his friend, accepting a hug from his beloved neighbor. 

 

"He slept most of the day, I heard from Simon. I was actually about to feed him dinner but...well." Liam chuckled looking down at the sleeping Little. He left out the part of Zayn's tantrum. He figured that was best kept between him and his Little. "Also, I'll give you the files Simon gave me. I believe Louis has to go to therapy now, Harry. Also, I'll be the one to call Simon tomorrow and explain what happened. For now, it's been an emotional night for almost everyone here and I think it's best we all call it an early night and leave the paperwork for the morning." 

 

Harry chuckled softly. "You were saying earlier this morning about something happening?" 

 

Liam rolled his eyes, turning his attention to Zayn who frowned at his Daddy's stern glance. He knew that look all too well; and he knew he had been acting up all day, but it wasn't fair, dumb baby Louis tried to ruin everything and he almost succeeded! Zayn kept those comments to himself as he stayed put on the floor, snuggling his beloved blanket.  

 

"It's best you head home now, Harry. I need to speak with Zayn." 

 

The Daddy nodded, holding Louis tight once more as Liam opened the front door for him. "Sorry for barging in." Harry mumbled. Liam chuckled, waving goodbye before turning back to Zayn. He hadn't forgotten what his boy did a few moments ago, nor was he going to let it slide. There was an (uncomfortable) strong silence after Harry left. Liam had shut the door and turned to face Zayn, crossing his arms. Zayn couldn't bring himself to even look at his Daddy. 

 

"Zayn. . . is there something you want to tell me?" Liam asked, firmly. 

 

Fiddling with his blanket, the boy shrugged. "I dunno." He knew what his Daddy wanted to hear: an apology. But he had news for Daddy. He wasn't going to apologize. Louis had his blanket and Daddy specifically got that for him. Not Louis. 

 

"I don't like your attitude at the moment, Darling. Now. I'll ask you one more time: is there something you want to tell me? If you don't, I will have no qualms in pointing out what you did wrong, Zayn Payne." Liam walked towards the couch where Zayn now sat, kicking his legs. "This is your final warning." 

 

Huffing, Zayn finally spoke. "Don't like Louis. He's a dumb baby that just sleeps." 

 

"Need I remind you Zayn, at one point you were a tiny baby that slept a lot too." 

 

"I wasn't a dummy though." 

 

 

Liam decided now was the perfect time to place a fussy Zayn into the corner. Through Zayn's loud protests the Caretaker explained he'd be back in five minutes before going to finish up dinner. Maybe he'd take a gulp of coffee with more than enough expresso. He'd need it, he could already tell it was going to be a long night. 

 

  

* * *

 

 

Walking across Liam's driveway and stepping over the white picket fence was almost too surreal for Harry. Finally, after four years, he was actually bringing his baby home. Harry had dreamed of this moment for so long, but every time had him waking up to a too quiet house and an empty heart; a reminder that Louis was gone. For now, he wouldn't dwell on the past. He wanted to bask in this moment and he would do so. Opening his front door, he looked around for a moment before spotting a throw blanket on the couch and quickly swaddled the still sleeping Louis before laying the baby-his baby-on the couch. 

 

Harry slid with his bunny slippers still on into the kitchen to enter the basement where he began hauling up Louis' old crib. However, when Harry had lugged it upstairs, he groaned seeing how dusty he had let it become. 

 

 _Louis can't sleep in that, it's not good enough for him!_ His mind told him. 

 

The baby would have to sleep with him in his bed. Though, Harry didn't mind one bit. Louis had slept with him before be it due to a nightmare, or because they had fallen asleep to reading a goodnight book. The Caretaker felt his heart fill with glee knowing he'd be able to do all that over again with Louis; resuming nighttime bubble baths, Friday movie night, lazy afternoons spent snuggling on the couch by the window, making pillow forts and kicking a football outside, Harry wanted to do it all. More importantly, he knew Louis' return would also resume the possible medicine struggle, kissing his "arm boo-boos" and reciting just how perfect his little boy was and that he had to live in a big, scary world but Daddy was there for him. 

 

Harry would make sure Louis know that he was cracking down the law. 

 

Louis wouldn't be leaving his sight ever again. 

 

The Caregiver didn't care if he'd have to buy a leash or one of those walkers to keep Louis secured, Harry wouldn't know what to do if his boy left again. 

 

_Calm down. He's here now, just focus on that._

 

 Taking a deep breath and composing himself, Harry focused on hauling the large item upstairs. He'd clean and arrange the nursery tomorrow at a more reasonable hour. First, he had to tend to his baby. The Caretaker felt nostalgia from Louis' first day at the house. The boy had been so reluctant, but not a bother, almost if he were subconsciously agreeing that he needed the care and attention. That reluctant boy soon morphed into the smiling, happy nappy-clad lad who followed Harry around like a baby chick. Smiling softly, Harry reached for a diaper bag where he kept spare nappies and other necessities for Littles he watched and began undressing the boy. 

As he suspected, the boy was wet. 

 

 _Probably did it out of fear when Zayn was pulling on him._ Harry wouldn't blame that ordeal on Zayn alone. Poor Zayn had a backstory that would make even the devil weep, que his attachment to Liam. It seems he saw Louis as a roadblock to his Daddy. It wasn't uncommen, but most Caretakers had only one Little. Not only was it because watching even One Little took an emotional toll, but Littles were so needy and demanded care 24/7 365. 

 

Clutching powder and oil, Harry went to town on Louis. Liking the feel that Louis' sensative areas were  was shaved (a requirement in Harry's home) and he was thankful the man didn't have a rash. Still, he added paste for prevention. Louis slept peacefullyduring his nappy change and unbeknownst to him, he was now in a white, bulky nappy that hugged his waist and thighs. 

 

"Bedtime, me love." Harry softly whispered, cradling Louis and keeping support of Louis' head and neck as he traveled up the stairs to his bedroom. There, he laid Louis in the middle of the big bed and swaddled him in a dark grey snuggle blanket before pulling the comforter over the two of them. 

 

Harry slept better than night than he had in four years. 

 

He finally had his little boy back. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm ending it here cause I like being evil.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry become reaquanited. 
> 
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *looks at last update, then at the calender*
> 
>  
> 
> Whoops.

 

 

When he came to his consciousness. The first thing Louis noticed, was how warm he was. He snuggled his face deeper into the soft blanket that was wrapped around him and let out a faint purr. The blanket was so fuzzy against his cheek and smelled like coconut. His eyes widened as he recalled the last memory he had before falling into a fretful slumber. Wiggling against the blanket swaddled around him, he managed to break free. His body jerked around and he held his breath. 

 

This had to be a dream. Next to him, sleeping soundly with an arm loosly draped around his waist, was Harry. 

 

A lump formed in his throat and he feared he'd throw up. 

 

 _Am I dreaming, or had those past four years been a nightmare?_ Louis gulped. No. It had all been real. He had agreed to be signed over to a new Caretaker. Louis recalled the last thing he remembered. He was being held by Liam to be shown off to someone...he can't remember their name, but he does recall an uneasy and unpleasant falling feeling of being yanked around and he was so scared. And then, like a knight in shining armor, Harry had arrived and held him tightly until he cried himself asleep. 

 

No. It wasn't a dream. It had been real. But what confused Louis was, why was he with Harry? Surly Liam didn't simply hand him over? 

 

Louis felt dazed and confused and he needed a drink. Standing up on shaky legs, Louis tried to tip toe out of the bedroom (knowing the house by heart) and to the kitchen. He was only gone for a minute, sipping the glass of water before frantic footsteps were heard drumming dlwn the hallway and stomping down the steps. 

 

Frazzled and alerted was Harry when he stood in the kitchen, looking at Louis was a slight panic in his eyes. 

 

"L-Louis? Oh, Louis, please, don't ever do that again." Harry almost begged. Swiftly, he rushed over to the boy standing by the counter to engulf him in a bone crushing hug. Louis is, once again, shocked. He hadn't the slightest clue if he should hug his (former) caregiver back, or speak. He does neither and still it doesn't feel like he was sure if what he did was right. 

 

The caregiver sniffed in Louis' scent. He tried to see if there was any linger of strawberries, dirt, a stolen cookie in his back pocket, anything to remind him of the old Louis. But there is none. Louis smells clean, but not the kind of clean Harry was expecting. Just plain. The man breaks the hug, giving a soft smile to the blue eyed boy. Lois may not smell like baby powder and fruit, but there was still that youthful glance in his eyes. Harry knew it was there. Behind all the sadness and guilt, he had fished it out once, he could do it again. 

 

"Now. Let's see about breakfast-" Harry turned to the cabinets, pulling out a loaf of bread and jam from the fridge. "-we'll start light now, but give me five minutes and daddy will make you a nice plate of waffles. Does that sound good?" 

 

The smaller man bites his lip when Harry refers to himself as 'Daddy'. He doesn't know how to make of it. Louis hadn't called him by his first name since they met years ago when he met the young man. Harry tries to see that young man in the current Louis, but he can't even see the lad's former self anymore. He has stubble (Liam must not have shaved him yet) his hair isn't wispy and healthy, but rather rugged and cut too short for Harry's liking. Most of all, it's his eyes. The blue is dull and he's tired. Harry knows. Because Harry is his Daddy. 

 

"No. . . I just... we need to talk." Louis mutters. He's embarrassed and confused. Harry stops, but only for a moment. Nodding he signals for Louis to follow him to the kitchen table. Louis gulps. It's the same table. He knows. The same table he's been fed countless delicious meals and desserts, painted and colored pictures at and watched as his Daddy would try to toss pancakes in the air (and they'd both laugh when he'd fail). Now, he'd be having a chat. 

 

And adult chat that would involve, yet another heart ache. 

 

"Harry, what happened yesterday was a fluke." Louis starts, not missing when Harry bites his inner cheeks when Louis called him by his first name. It didn't happen often and the man was never used to it. "I was overwhelmed and on drugs, which is why I fell into head space like that. You know that, I'm sure." 

 

"I do." 

 

"Well, now that we're on the same level I should be going. I need to find Li-Mr. Payne and apologize. I'm sure he's upset-"

 

Harry interrupts. "Quite the opposite, actually," He stands to pour himself a cup of coffee, leaving Louis confused at the kitchen table. "Don't take it the wrong way, but when I arrived and you. . . .cried out for me. He understood the bond you and I have and willingly handed you over. The paperwork will be complete this afternoon and soon I will have the Care-giving rights over you again." Harry turned, not missing the stunned look on Louis' face. He continued talking. "Mr. Payne is actually my neighbor. So if you would like to see him, then it shouldn't be a problem-"

 

"No. . .that's not why I'm confused," Louis stumbled. "I. . .. why are you taking me back? You didn't answer. . . " 

 

Louis' head hangs low and he's fighting tears. This time, it wasn't the medication causing a hurricane of emotions. It was raw and real. Louis held himself, tucking his feet under the chair. Harry set his mug down and tightened his robe as he walked towards Louis, crouching down so he was at eye-level. He's done this before, he can do it again. 

 

The man smiles softly before apologizing. "Louis. . . I am so sorry I didn't reply. I was out when I got the call and when I found out you were still here it had been too late and Liam had taken you in. It was just one big, untimely circumstance after the other. But I'm here now." Harry didn't need to open his arms for Louis to lunge himself at the man. He had his arms wrapped around his shoulders and his face buried in the man's neck. 

 

Harry still smelled the same. Maybe if he imagined really hard, he could pretend none of this happened. That it had all been one bad nightmare. 

 

But he can't. 

 

"I'm here baby, I'm here." Harry stood up, holding Louis in his arms. He held his little boy tight as he possibly could and thanked God his Louis was back where he belonged. "No more tears, baby boy. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?" 

 

Louis shook his head. There hadn't been anything to talk about, really. He was just trying to emotionally prepare himself to return to Liam's and apologize to Harry. "Thought you hated me, cause Niall does!" He sobbed. 

 

"No, no, no, baby. Nothing you could do could ever make me hate you." Harry vowed. It was the truth, but Louis didn't believe it. 

 

"Even running away?" He softly asked, laying his head on the man's shoulder as Harry rocked him back and fourth, petting his hair. 

 

The Caretaker nodded. "Even running away. Oh sweetie, Daddy missed you so much. I cried for you, searched for you. I missed my baby boy so much, all I could think about was you. I didn't think I'd ever see you again." Harry had spent countless, sleepless nights thinking, wondering and worrying about Louis. Was his boy eating, sleeping, or safe? Was he clean? Was he warm? Did he know he was loved? Harry would never hold Louis running away against him, but he would be keeping a very close eye on him. Fear, now mixed with his unconditional love he had for his boy. 

 

"Now, how about we calm down and have some yummy breakfast, hhm?" Harry grinned, walking towards the counter, still having a hold on Louis as he didn't want to put the boy down just yet. He began making some waffle batter while Louis sniffled on his shoulder. 

 

"I. . . I can't do it!" Louis sobbed, grabbing Harry's attention. The Daddy frowned, "Can't do what, lovie?" 

 

"I can't be Little!" Louis cried. He couldn't put himself into head space like he could before. Ever since he left, being Little was not on the agenda anymore. He had wet the bed for a few weeks afterwards but he had learned to control that. Still, it was more than just simply acting as a small child, being in head space stopped bad thoughts, feelings and adult awareness. The blue eyed man believed with all his heart, that he couldn't be Little even if he wanted to. 

 

Harry bit his lip. He wondered, if it could be the sedative wearing off on Louis. He knew for a fact all new Littles were taken home doped up on calming medications. He knew Simon probably had recommended some be given to Louis. 

 

Poor Louis was just having bad thoughts and needed a Daddy's comfort. 

 

"No, my sweet little one, don't you worry about a thing. Remember what I told you about being big?" Harry gently reminded. Louis shook his head, to which Harry chuckled and snuggled closer. "I told you, Big or Little, you'll always be my baby and I mean it." He didn't care if Louis was throwing up over the toilet, cursing at him, clawing at his skin and claiming he'd never piss in a diaper ever again or rolling on his back, giggling as Harry shook a rattle over his head. Adult mindset or not, Louis was his baby and that's the way it will always be. 

 

All he needed was for Louis to believe it. Harry was willing to take that road again if necessary. 

 

"Now, is my boy-er, Louis, are you ready to have some food?" Harry asked. "I'd like you to have a few bites at least." 

 

Louis nodded. He was famished and the toast and jam sounded lovely. Harry sat him back on the kitchen booth while he went about making their breakfast. Harry could tell Louis was clearly not in the mind of a toddler, more or less a trouble adult, so he treated him as such, with a glass of orange juice and his own fork for scrambled eggs and toast with jam. Harry, along with other residences of Blackwell, treat Littles with respect and if a Little wasn't feeling "Little" then they wouldn't continue such a babyish treatment until the Little was ready. Louis had his moments where he needed to be an adult, whether it would be him asking Harry a difficult question his Little Mindset could not comprehend; but it was mainly due to nightmares. 

 

Harry knew Louis wouldn't simply fall into his head space either, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't encourage it. 

 

"Lou? I was wondering what you'd like to do today?" Harry smiled softly. 

 

The boy shrugged, munching on his food. 

 

"Well, it's going to rain all day today so I don't think playing outside would be the best option. How about a movie day?" Harry beamed. "We can make a blanket fort and play games too and-"

 

"Don't you have a daycare?" Louis softly spoke, not meeting Harry's eyes. The Caregiver bit his lip. He didn't know how Louis found out about that, but it was beside the point.  

 

"Yes, sweetie. I did have one for a while, but that was to. . . " God how could he put it? "to keep myself busy _-but-_ but now that you're back I've called everyone and told them that I have someone very special to attend to and that business is closed." Harry's smile faltered, noticing Louis' sad gaze. There was no avoiding the inevitable ". . .does it bother you that I babysat, sweetie?" 

 

Louis shrugged. He couldn't feel jealous because it was his fault he was gone. It was his fault anyway. 

 

"No."

 

"Now, I know that look, tell Dadd-tell me the truth, please." Harry cleared his throat. "Your feelings aren't wrong, Louis. And you can't hurt mine by telling me how you feel, I promise." 

 

The blue eyed boy sat down his toast and leaned into the kitchen booth, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes as he gazed at the white and black tiled kitchen floor. He felt awful, not because he ran away, not because he ruined his family's trust, had shit friends, enemies that wanted their money, and lost his Little friend. Louis felt like shit because he caused all of this. He hated himself. 

 

". . . I'm sorry." was all he could muster before sobbing again. Harry scooted closer, wrapping the boy in another hug and pulling his little boy closer. Glancing at the clock, he sighed. 

 

 

It was only 9:05. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Harry managed to coax Louis into watching some cartoon after breakfast as soon as he calmed down. He needed to work on Louis' nursery. He hadn't been inside the room in years and no doubt it needed to be cleaned, dusted and the floor probably needed a good scrubbing and the windows washed. Still, he was skeptical about leaving. 

 

If he left, would Louis leave? 

 

No, he couldn't afford to be paranoid. Louis wants to stay and staying means he will settle down again into headspace and Harry wanted everything to be perfect. 

 

"Erm, Louis?" Harry called. The small lad glanced up from the TV. "I'm going to work on something upstairs, do you mind staying put down here?" Harry asked. Slightly taken back and still shy, Louis meekly nodded. He wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He was too cold and didn"t want to move. 

 

Harry beamed. "It's a surprise I'm working on. I'll be back in an hour to check on you, okay?" 

 

Once again, speechless, Louis nodded. As Harry made his way upstairs, Louis watched the animated cats on TV sing about flowers and sunshine. He couldn't get into the program no matter how hard he forced himself. For some reason, he couldn't slip into a fuzzy, warm headspace he tried to separate himself from for going on five years. He would cringe whenever he was talking and his voice would slur or coo as he had been taught to speak, and going to sleep at night without some sort of light from the tv or lamp on was Hell. 

 

Louis had to teach himself to grow up all while screwing over the only people that accepted him. 

 

His breath hitched when he recalled "crawling back" to his family begging for forgivness and wanting to prove he was a changed man. He didn't know if they believed him or not, all he knew was when they found out he was stealing, lying and screwing them over again, they masked their anger or sadness with "We should have known." 

 

Earnie, now a strapping teenage lad, vowed to break his face in if he came neer the family and claimed Louis was the sack of shit of a man and he'd be taking over as the "Man of the House."  Doris, the twins and Lottie weren't speaking to him and Fizzy wouldn't even look at him. Louis didn't mean to do what he did. Really. Its just.....they were so tempting. The drugs were amazing and the best way to escape reality. And it fucked his whole life up. He had a job interview at some shady gas station, but it was still a job and he blew it! Coming into the interview higher than a kite and having the cops arrest him. 

 

The boy sat on the plush rug, he hadn't even noticed he was snifffling. He had tried so hard and he blew it. He believed that, maybe, he wasn't meant to have nice things like friends and family. No. None for Louis. After all. He was bad. 

 

Harry finished putting the final touches on the crib, decorating it with some of Louis' stuffies he ran through the washer really quick. He was sad to admit that after Louis left, he did give away some toys and a few clothing items; all while in constant denial Louis would return to him. He could always buy new things for his boy. He took a glance around the room proudly. The room had been painted a soft cream and the some rugs were laid down again and all that was missing was a happy Little to have enjoy this.

 

Now, the moment of truth. Rushing down the stairs, Harry's smile faded when he saw Louis curled in a ball on the floor whimpering. 

 

"Sweetie? Is everything okay?" Harry gently kneeled down. What had happened? I was only gone for an hour or so. Harry wondered. Sniffing and whiping his sleeve over his nose, Louis muttered, "Nothing. What did you want to show me?" 

 

Wasting no time, Harry helped Louis to his feet and hold his hand as they walked up the stairs. Harry wanted to pick his boy up, fearing the footy pjs would cause him to slip on the stairs, but he would wait until Louis allowed him to do so. The last thing he wanted was to scare his boy (or get decked in the face). 

 

Louis knew exactly where Harry was taking him the moment they entered the hallway and stood outside the door. Countless hours he spent napping, playing and being fed bottles of milk and rocked to sleep in the room beyond this door. Inside, it was almost the same. Less was avaliable for him, just a changing table, a rocking chair and a crib, but he couldn't blame Harry. The doodles on the wall he colored were washed away, the rugs were still soft and, he glanced towards the crib, many of his beloved "friends" were here. 

 

"We can go buy you some more toys if you'd like, Louis." Harry nervously offered. Though, not today. Maybe online. He didn't feel comfortable leaving the house with Louis. He feared if he turned his back, his boy would be gone--again. 

 

Reaching out to touch the fur of a rainbow bear, Louis shook his head. Clutching the toy against him. 

 

Mr. Bow Bear. 

 

His beloved friend next to Niall, (no, not Niall anymore. Niall hates him). Were Harry and this bear all he had? He seemed to think so. His shoulders shivered and he began to cry again. Though, he had no idea why. Louis swore he couldn't cry anymore as his head hurt too much. Harry, once again, kneeled down next to Louis and took the boy into his arms and let him cry. 

 

In only minutes, he was out light a small babe and tucked into his crib for a morning nap where he belonged. 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave Kudos and a comment if you liked it!


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